thelunchbox

I am a batman. I have not a body. I have not a self. I am only a collection of wing-shaped thoughts masquerading as a man. I am bats. I am not a vampire, for they suck. They are a massive pain in the neck, and I have endeavored my entire life to avoid them.

To those who would disparage me, I do not bat an eye. I see you, and your mockery, your ill-thought-out jibes against my character. They cannot stop me. I am a collection of bats. Slights against me are mere afterthoughts to all-consuming desire I feel to feed.

As a result of the multiplicity of my consciousnesses, I cannot die. I cannot be gone from this Earth, or die like the one late Professor Ted Kaczynski. I reside above mere mortals such as him. I do not need to degrade myself by wearing human clothing, with degrading imagery like “Shrek” on it.

I am God. I hath written the heathen Bible to deter humanity from discovering the true way of the bats. It, along with folk punk and ramen noodles, only serves to further harm the society built by the half-witted race that inhabits this Earth.

The only thing worse than the feeling of being flightless is the worms.

Oh, the worms. They haunt my brain, injecting themselves into my conscience by importing themselves through my sinuses.

But.

I shall rise above it.

I am a batman.

I cannot be stopped.