Uncertainty

Let's talk about everything, really.

I've got this friend who got a girlfriend, and kinda stopped messaging me like they used to, which got me thinking, would I do the same? Would I forget about my friends, acquaintances etc. the moment I become more successful? I hope not. It's probably better to strive for the better future instead of remaining with the ones who hold you down, but it was never like that in my life. The only people I dropped communication with, were the ones I disliked. None of those, who I truly appreciate and keep contact with, I ever forgot. And it doesn't matter who they are, as long as we have the same wavelength.

Been thinking about life on a wider scale than just “get through this day well”. World's just... too complex? Every big country does weird things, big companies screw everyone, everyone is screwed by everything, and that's not mentioning stuff like climate change, nukes and other dangerous things which could kill us all, but so few cares. Economy is another thing I don't get – people get underpaid, cost of life and commodities get too expensive, how does anyone think people can survive at all in the future.

Lately I've been having issues with doing/learning anything useful. Feeling like all life goals have disappeared. Or maybe that's actually summer's temperature, which usually gets me lazy. Also an issue, but not a big one.

Related to the previous topic, I haven't been doing very well with my attempts to write fiction. At first I felt that the issue is in not knowing how to write natural dialogues, or how to make characters with goals, ambitions, values – like real people. But after not writing anything for weeks, I started to think that maybe I have no idea how to write something big in general. It's hard to start typing when I know that no great idea have appeared in my head about any of the stories that I want to write. And thus I never start writing, and never get anywhere (which is the issue). Maybe I should just write, even if it sounds rough or I have no idea how to put my thoughts right or I have no idea about the plot, just write anything and think/edit later.

Phew, that is a nice amount text. It may become boring if I continue to think, so let's leave it at that. Have fun